I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
