Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
