How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
