I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
