It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
