my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
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