Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
ttyl tear gas
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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