Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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