Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
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