Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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