Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
