cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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