gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
You can't motorboat a personality
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
