Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
stop calling my apartment porn island.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize