You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
