____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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