My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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