Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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