I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
