Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
did i walk over a car last night?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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