do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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