he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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