hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
