Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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