So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Randomize
