Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
