Yo dont text me then not text me
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
