Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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