he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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