totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
