Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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