Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
