I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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