I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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