so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
