ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
