About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
