So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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