Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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