when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
