ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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