I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
