scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Operation Purity has been aborted
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
