You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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