apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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