After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
