Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize
