I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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