think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i just sent this text using only my big toe
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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