sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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