I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
