just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
