I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
