I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
should my penis look like a turkey
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
