if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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