my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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