I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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