Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
