my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i just google imaged poop.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
