who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My brain says no but my pants say off.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
