we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
