I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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