she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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