I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
