ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize