So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
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